You can view a video Catelin made for the funeral
HERE.
Dayna:
Dad had gone through several
very uncomfortable hours having a hard time breathing. As the medicines began to work, he cracked a
couple of jokes and made a big effort to smile.
He tried hard to reassure us he was okay. It was obvious he was far from okay. He was thinking about all of us and our
feelings.
I heard my dad say several times that my mom had
taught him how to love. Here he was in
some of his last speaking moments caring about us, trying so hard to let us
know he was okay. His courage and kindness
helped all of us. I know Dad is happy
now and can breathe easy, but I sure am going to miss him.
Barrett:
I can’t imagine what our life
would be like without the support and love that James and Mildred has given our
family. There are many examples I can
point to where his care for us was evident:
· When we were newlyweds, they welcomed us back into
their home for six months when we had run of money.
· The day we brought Catelin home from the hospital in
Minnesota, they were at our home wanting to help us, and they have helped after
each of the first four kids.
· When we were moving to Florida, they welcomed our
family of 4 into their home for two months while our house was being built.
· He never criticized my fumbling efforts in marriage
and parenting, and he called me “Barretti”, which I liked.
I’ve always been impressed
with his love for learning, and his ability to figure things out and make
things. When we stayed with him the time
we were moving to Florida, he designed and built a shed in his backyard. I was able to help him, and was impressed
that he just drew it on a piece of paper and went and built it.
For many years they were
unable to visit us due to Mildred’s health, but after she died, he came down
for Aubrey’s high school graduation, and then for another visit in January of
2011. On that trip he went to several of
Luke’s JV basketball games and enjoyed yelling at the players and the
referees. He was so proud of each of
his grandkids and always wanted to know how and what they were doing.
I was also impressed with how he cared for
Mildred while she was staying in Wesley Glen.
He was with her every day. The
best way to describe it is that he was devoted to her. I’m glad he was a part of my life, and always
will be.
Catelin:
Grandpa James was a man of words. He liked to play with words, change words,
and use words in unusual ways to make a point.
When I was little, instead of “taking a bath”, it was “tarking a
barth”. Every time he wanted butter, it
was “Buttar, Bitte”. It wasn’t a
sandwich, it was a sammich. I started
taking German because ever since I can remember, he had been teaching me to
count to ten in German. Clearly, that
didn’t last very long, but he made me want to try it. Some of his other famous phrases are “Sing me
a song”, “Tell me a story”, and “you look sharp, kid”. I got a lot of my silliness in the way I talk
from listening to Grandpa.
Grandpa also had a very colorful mouth. I remember when I was about 4 years old
hearing him use the word “damn”, and asking Mom what it meant. She told me that it meant that you wish
someone or something would go to hell.
The next time I heard him say it was when he was getting something out
of the freezer, and a bag of peas fell out.
Grandpa said “Oh, damn!” and I whispered to Cara that he wanted the peas
to go to hell. Later that day, at
dinner, Grandpa went to get something out of the freezer, and yet again,
something fell out. I turned around, and
very calmly said, “Damn”. Suddenly, the
room was very quiet. I didn’t even get
reprimanded. I knew I wasn’t supposed to
say it as soon as it happened, though. I
think it’s safe to say that any bad words I knew up until the age of about 8, I
heard from Grandpa.
The words that I will always remember him saying, though,
were “Love you, Baby”. Every single time
I said, “I love you, Grandpa”, he would say, “Love you, Baby”. It was like that—“Love YOU, Baby”. In those three words, I knew that no matter
how bad he felt, no matter what else was on his mind, I was one of the most
important things to him at that moment.
I always knew that I mattered to him.
There was no point in time, no matter what was going on or how upset he
was, no matter what we had done, when his wife, his children, his
grandchildren, and his great grandchildren weren’t of the most vital importance
to him.
It’s going to be hard for me to not hear him say, “Love you,
Baby” for the rest of the time I’m on earth.
I am incredibly excited, though, for the day when I meet him in Heaven
and hear him ask if I “tarked a barth”, take me to see “Grandmeer”, and when I say,
“I love you, Grandpa”, for him to say “Love you, Baby”. It will be perfect.
Psalm 100:5
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues
through all generations.
Cara:
“Sing me a song.”
This phrase will always make me think of Grandpa James. Grandpa loved singing. He loved stories, too. He loved to hear stories from his family, but
mostly he loved to tell stories. Grandpa
found stories everywhere he went; stories about fixing the tractor on the farm
in Oklahoma, about listening to gossip in the family store, and about making
friends with the Navy cooks so he could have food whenever he wanted it. He told stories about Grandma Mildred,
too. Like the one about how he was
driving to a job interview in California and turned around and drove back to
Oklahoma, because he knew that if he got that job he wouldn’t get to marry
Mildred.
He told stories about Up-Above Land and Down-Below Land and
Squeaky the Squirrel. He told stories
about Santa Claus; trying to convince us that he was real long after we knew
that he wasn’t.
He tried to make our
childhoods magical. And they were. Not because we believed all of his
fantastical stories, or because of the wonderful Christmas and birthday
presents he and Grandma gave us, but because all the stories and the songs and
the presents and the food told us that we were loved.
Their house was always a place of welcoming hugs, delicious
food, warm smiles, and love. I remember
‘helping’ Grandpa in his garden, and then everyone sharing the great big bowl
of green beans that we had picked. I
remember the breakfasts that grandma and grandpa would make for us when we
visited-always with plenty of bacon. The
smell of bacon still makes me think of them.
I remember sitting at the dinner table for hours after a meal was over,
listening to stories from his life. I
remember advice that he gave me. “You
should work for the government,” he said.
“They like to hire women engineers.
But never work for a lawyer.
They’ll take advantage,” he said with a meaningful look in his
eyes.
One of my most precious memories of Grandma and Grandpa
happened just a few years ago. We were
sitting at the dinner table at the Casdens’, and, as usual, Grandpa James
started to sing after dinner. He sang a
few of his favorite songs like “Old Limpy” and “Home on the Range.” Grandma hummed along. Grandpa told a story about the high school
that he and Grandma had gone to; Berlin High.
He asked Grandma questions when he forgot names or parts of the story,
and she answered some of them, but mostly she laughed apologetically and said
that she didn’t know. Then he said,
“Well, you remember this, don’t you?” and he started to sing the Berlin High
Anthem. Grandma’s face lit up and he
took her hand and they sang together.
“That’s Berlin High!” It was
beautiful. Grandpa’s life was full of
moments like this, magical moments that showed people that he loved them. He wasn’t perfect, he would be the first to
tell you that, but through his imperfections he was able to assure each of us
that he loved us, and that’s the best birthday present anyone could ask for.
Aubrey:
Aubrey's tribute was to play and sing the song "There's and Empty Cot in the Bunkhouse Tonight" at the funeral, which was a song James sang a lot, and that he requested for the funeral. She did a wonderful job.
Luke:
My Grandpa is one of the
best men I know. He has always been a great husband and father, as long as have
know him. When my Grandma got Alzheimers, she would have episodes where she would
say she hated him and he stayed right by her side. Whenever my Mom would talk
to him saying how we kids had been mean to her, he would tell us to “treat her
right”. I hear stories of him in the Navy asking to transfer to out of ships
not seeing action to those about to land on Tokyo. He was based on a landing
craft that was expected to be destroyed in the first 15 minutes. From the
stories he told I don’t think he ever wished he hadn’t transferred. I will miss
Grandpa and I can’t wait to see him again. I am sure he is with Grandma right
now.
Macy:
He was sweet and funny and I
loved him.
The time there was honoring to her father, but I also want to honor
his daughter, my wife Dayna. This wasn't a week or month long process,
but for over a year she has worked very hard to prepare for her father's
move to Florida, she found and purchased a home for him, looked after
his needs, and drove him to appointments. When his health deteriorated
in the fall, she found a quality assisted living facility, moved him
into it, and worked with the staff and the hospice group to be sure he
had the best care possible. She loved her father well, and he greatly
appreciated her sacrifice. She has been a wonderful daughter to her
father, and it has cost her a lot this year. 
